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  • Writer's pictureAmelia Nicol


I wrote this post in 2017.

Fear the potentials of where your thoughts would mislead you, the hiccups between the steps you take in wondering about something; the accidents that trip us up during a day. The loud sounds and furious added weight to every motion in noticing it for yourself. Occupy your own thought or someone else will occupy it for you. The fear and shame felt at the dagger of danger and the surety of death. Killer attitude; my movement will defend itself against the instigation that is always present. Slip on the job, accidental death and suicides amongst workers and damned be the one actually thinking about it. Caught either cringing or gagging or hiding someplace; relax, the world is full of obstacles designed to kill you and you are here to work on them. Nature, the grinding machine of timing compared to the steps we are able to take during the work day and how far away from your process you are during the actual performing of tasks. How far away from the way in which you naturally think must you drag yourself to be wondering and fathom such machinery? Humans do not think or behave in a binary. These toxic chemical spills to electrical outlets, the metals and wiring that intersects and construes itself beyond the parts lists in memory of movement and its postulate. The sounds the engine makes, the motor running and gaps in distance to each chug and lurching whinny or guessing instance for the garbled proctor or shifting safety teams misunderstanding what exactly it is they are doing just standing around during a day. Each postural reflex strikes a certain chord, but don’t upset yourself about it, there are all sorts of extensions to deliver you from particular prongs. Don’t get hung up, don’t fixate, the answer is itself and continual. This life is so full, brimming these airs we fill with toxins, these poisons we administer systems for their working mechanisms are killing us. Mechanic longings like general study of the human body; notice the refusal to compare a car to our bodies. Misery and calamity, the drive down lines of understanding and the ticks we experience as becoming more part of the machine than nature. Computers comparing the workmanship of men with machinery; causing more accidents to their work process. The feeling of always being watched or as if you’re having to show, compared to the feeling of just workmanship. Having to be more heavily guided by authority figures at the job sight is probably part of this same complex. The occurrences of accidents at job sites and the likelihood that anyone watching you had anything to do with it are null and void to most; but the power of collective gaze cannot be denied, and the effects and affects of certain environmental aggregates on work process cannot be ignored. The more delicate you try to be, the more difficult it is at times to actually operate; the more stout and present you are poses entirely different obstacles. Watching a workman too closely, you notice them fumble or curse or ask you to go and get them something; the sense that our lives are a sort of performance of our own attitudes and behaviors and the ability to separate oneself from the misery or calamity to show skill. Fear and the fulfillment of actual motive compared with motif. Motives and drives, surrounding passing contortions of reality from a periphery and the interruptions to process that are necessary, and those that need eradicated. How are you to decide in cognitive risk assessment which information will eventually be of use to you, and that which you must discard? Remembered myself as saying that it really isn’t a conscious decision and I can’t always trust my own brain or emotion. Avoidance of the moral detective brigades and the ability to function on a daily basis in some job sights necessitates being un-bothered by certain etiquette and temperance in yourself and others. Tetanus shots car wrecks worried mind and paranoid ticks of infrequent laziness and the things that pop in your head. The etiquette that says temperance cannot be learned but spouts from the pages of logistic and common American noble thoughts. It’s terrible temperance to speak of it at all, especially in comparisons. No testing, don’t get testy…

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